The Lovers

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The Lovers

The Lovers card suggests upcoming choices. These may involve new love, existing marriage or partnerships, and either-or dilemmas.

An important part of the Lovers card often overlooked is that as a Major Arcana card, its domain is the inner you and your journey through life. Major arcana cards rarely refer directly to other people (that is the purpose of minor arcana) other that the effect a person is having on your inner self. The Lovers card never refers to a new amour or other partnership but instead to internal choices that will need to be made regarding them, and their effects on you.

The other side of choosing something is sacrificing or passing on something else. Choosing is rarely one thing over the other; it is a duality:

• Duality implies balance between opposites and this balance can be complex. Do you pick one thing over the other, or do you compromise somewhere in between, or do you decide to do nothing? And in making that choice, who are you actually trying to please? As we said; complex!
• Duality also means communication between the two parts. Open communication is necessary to maintain balance and if you can’t achieve balance, you should at least have agreement. And of course, if you are in any relationship where one side is making all the choices, it won’t go well.
• Finally, duality often means satisfying both parts of the dual so that real growth occurs. This happens when you are able to turn an either-or dilemma into a solution that relies not on picking A over B, but on understanding. This third meaning of duality is the highest form of the Lovers card, as only understanding can become divine love.

There is a wonderful story in the tale of Eros related to all of this. Aphrodite complains to the Goddess of Justice (Themis) that the young Eros refuses to grow and remains a baby. Themis suggests Eros is given a brother, Anteros or ‘love returned’. Eros will not grow and may even regress to a baby unless his brother is near.

Thus a relationship with unbalanced flows of love, or a relationship based only on carnal desire (aka an ‘unjust love’ that dishonors Themis) is a relationship that will never grow and will always end in infantile arguments and shouting.
Psyche dispels this curse on Eros as she represents a deeper completion of love between body and mind.

Eros and Psyche

The story of Eros and Psyche contains a multitude of story plots that are reused in many later stories and fables.

• The Beauty and the Beast takes its source from the first part of Psyche and Eros’s story. In the myth the Beast is described as so fearsome, resourceful and cunning that even the Gods themselves are powerless against it. That beast is Love, aka Eros. So the Beast actually turns out to be a handsome God.
• The story The Snow Queen and others where the heroine has to go through a number of seemingly impossible trials before being reunited with her love is based on Psyche’s trials.
• The story of Cinderella contains some of the same themes as the story of Eros and Psyche; wicked sisters and impossible trials.

Although many do not know the myth of Eros and Psyche, they will know the strong original archetypes that have permeated other stories since; the recognition that love transcends all other things, and is the fuel the soul uses to get back to its true other half, irrespective of distances and trials placed in the way. The archetype that makes this journey is usually feminine, suggesting that the soul is fundamentally feminine. This ties in with biology; at points when sex has not yet manifested (or irrelevant), the default sex is always female. It also ties with an ancient belief that the soul is always feminine (this is explored further in the Chariot card).

The relationship between Eros and Psyche takes a much deeper symbolism than simply love;

• Eros represents Love at first sight and carnal love (his name is the root for words such as erotic and eroticism).
• Psyche represents the mind or soul (her name is where we get words such as psychic and psychology). ‘Psyche’ actually means ‘butterfly’, and the ancients likened its lifecycle from caterpillar to pupa to butterfly as the journey of the soul during life and on after death.

The marriage of Eros and Psyche is therefore symbolic of a number of much deeper concepts and very common plots:

• The connection between the body and mind. The true lovers archetype is the marriage of the god and goddess within, representing the two halves of us; the body and the mind.
• The struggle of the soul in its search for divine bliss or the quest to find its missing half. Christendom often saw the Eros-Psyche story as allegoric to the soul’s search for God. Modern romance literature often suggests your missing half is out there to be found, but there is always a plot twist or two (and more usually, several) in your way as trials. The plot often sees the heroine making do with the easy (trial free) choice set by the Ordinary World, then making the leap to the right choice through circumstances that force engaging in trials and gradual new discovery of self through realization or casting away previous repressions.
• There can be no meaningful love without trust, will or effort. Often, the trials are a form of baptism that relate to self-discovery. You can’t love and understand anyone until you first love and understand yourself.
• In some stories, the original point of attraction or need is a red herring to propel the hero out of the Ordinary World, and the real story is one of self-discovery and finding a higher Truth. This original point of attraction in movie scripts is called a MacGuffin.

At the end of the story of Eros and Psyche, the previously mortal Psyche is now a Goddess; her struggle for love has made her immortal.

Description and Symbology

The cars shows a man and woman in a beautiful paradise setting. Both characters appear as if they have just emerged from under covers or have removed most of their clothes, representing either honesty and openness or sensuality.

There are two waterfalls directly behind the heads of the two characters, suggesting the waterfalls are related to them. A fast flowing waterfall is symbolic of strong emotions, such as first love and the early stages of a relationship.

The same water collects into a slower and almost bucolic stream at the feet of the two characters. The water from the two waterfalls has now completely joined and flows as one, suggesting the shape of love as it matures with time. No longer flowing as two separate and powerful forces, but one slower and more peaceful force that will last for far longer.

At the side of the two characters, we see water from the falls flow down and slowly transition to the gentle stream. Neither character seems to notice this water, in much the same way most couples don’t notice the slow transition in love it represents.

The man holds a bow and there is a quiver of arrows to the man’s side and below the bow. These are the symbols of Eros, the God of love at first sight and carnal desires.

The woman points upwards with one raised arm. On her raised finger we see a butterfly, an ancient symbol of the soul, and sharing the name of the woman; Psyche. She is the Goddess representing the personification of mind and soul.

Her story is often seen as the archetypal love story or fairy tale resulting in a happy ending after significant trials. It is also seen as an allegory for the relationship between the carnal body and the higher soul, or the journey of the soul towards the divine through many trials, and this journey is fueled by a search for a deep, spiritual love.

Symbol for the Lovers

This symbol is made up of the Greek letter psi for Psyche. At its base we see a upward curve that resembles Eros’s bow. The bow turns the psi into a goblet-like shape resembling a cup (and the Tarot sign for emotion). Thus Psyche and Eros together become a symbol for love.

Flowing Water representing the stages of love

At the top of the image we see two waterfalls above and behind the heads of both Eros and Psyche. The water here flows powerfully and quickly. Eventually, over the passage of time and distance, this water ends up as a small and gently meandering stream by the feet of Eros and Psyche. The water has slowed considerably but now flows as one body. In the same way, the exciting passions of young love gives way to the slower but more stable love that comes with older age.

Psyche’s butterfly

Psyche has a butterfly on her raised hand. The name for Butterfly in ancient Greek, ‘psyche’, represents the mind or soul. Psyche’s hand points upwards towards the sky.

Eros’s Bow and arrows

Eros has a bow in one hand. We see a quiver of arrows below the bow.

Setting

The background contains many flowers in shades of white to red, representing romance. The location may be Elysium, a place reserved for those whose heroic life makes them especially blessed by the Gods. Elysium is also often used today as a pagan or non-religious-specific term for Paradise. It is also used often in poetry, literature and marketing to allude to Paradise or a paradise-on-earth.

Tips for Readings

The following table shows the upright and reverse meanings for general questions. The last row ('Yes/No') is useful when you are picking a single card to decide a yes or no decision.

Upright

Reversed

Love

Expect a loving relationships and nurturing partnerships.

If this is an existing relationship, expect it to go through a positive phase, or turn the corner into a better relationship.

A new relationship will get off to a good start.

Harmony in your major relationships.

A lack of understanding and harmony.

Lack of a spark, possibly because of a poor match leading to separation, or both parties having their own agenda.

An inability to give each other room to grow, either through lack of understanding or lack of trust.

A lack of meeting of mind and body. Different shapes can magically fit together as a whole in some relationships, but unfortunately, this is not one of them.

Career

Expect good relationships with co-workers or partners in a business deal. There will be good communication and trust.

Strong friendships that may become longstanding relationships

A toxic work environment.

There may be a break down of partnerships.

Possible personality clashes or souring of personal relationships.

For new business ventures, check all parties are on the same page on expected outcome and what a good result looks like.

Health

Health through loving yourself and having a healthy body image.

The Lovers literally symbolize mind and body. Both in perfect balance is the ideal of good health.

Health problem caused by mind and body not being connected.

Overwork or not looking after one over the other.

Possible health issues caused by boredom and a life that does not satisfy; consuming as an easy fix, or attempting to change yourself to meet expectations of others.

Spiritual

Spiritual connections centered on divine love; you have to love yourself before you can be loved.

This involves self-reflection and being satisfied with yourself in terms of both body and mind.

Problems caused by being unsatisfied with yourself or being pushed into a shape that is not you.

Your current path is not working; make space to create a version of yourself that you can love. Nobody can love you if you do not first love yourself.

Wealth

Profit will occur through collaboration and partnerships with others.

Success will come as long as you communicate with business partners and are all on the same page.

Tread carefully and make sure you know where any business plans with others are headed.

Yes/No

Yes, through harmony and love or respect with others.

No, through disharmony with others.

The Lovers card represents a move from the global themes of the Hierophant to the personal level. It defines how you interpret the Hierophant’s themes of agreed conventions and spiritual growth through unity of thought within your own relationships and partnerships. It also defines your personal importance regarding the relationship between body and soul via material wealth vs spiritual wellbeing and personal sense of what is the right thing to do.

When the Lovers card is seen with other Major Arcana, the second card no longer refers to you but the relationship and its effect on your future life. For example, the Lovers + Fool means there is an expectation of a new relationship you may not yet know about, and the Lovers and Empress represents a time of growth and abundance within a relationship (and if growing a family is part of the question, then the answer is children will be on the way).

When the Lovers card is seen with Minor Arcana, the Minor Arcana give indication of the ‘who’ and ‘what’. For example, a reversed royal may denote a missing energy within the relationship (communication, passion, wealth, etc.).

A particular combination for new relationships is the Lovers and knight cards. The knights give indication on what to expect from the other partner.

The upright card

The upright Lovers card denotes a new connection or relationship, or the deepening of an existing relationship. The Upright Lovers card always represents a positive outlook in relationships. Although the name of this card suggests it will be about love, this is true only when the question being asked of Tarot is about love.

If the question being asked is about something entirely different to relationships, the Lovers card suggests the successful way forward will involve a relationship. For example, if the question is about a business that needs turning around, the Lovers card may denote forming a partnership or business connection is part of the solution.

The Lovers card can refer to change in an existing relationship. It denotes a period of strengthening. An expectation of better communication, deeper sharing and trust, and in relationships of love, greater sexual energy.

More importantly, the Lovers card suggests you need to be clear in your choices regarding what you will give up to make it work and fuel its growth. Other cards may give an indication of this ‘giving up’, but it will usually make itself known in cards around the Lovers. It is often important to dwell on the Lovers card a little with this in mind; the Lovers can often be a life changing card and thinking this through for both the good and bad is important to ensure the balance is correct.

The reversal

A reversed Lovers card represents a disharmony. It does not always relate to your actual relationship with your love partner; that depends on your question.

For example, if the question is about feeling lost in career and bored and unmotivated, the root source is although you may still be good at your job, you are no longer in love with it nor have any passion for it.

The reversal suggests that the feelings in the relationship are no longer mutual. This does not mean the relationship will end, and can often be one of the most helpful readings; cards around the reversed Lovers card help pinpoint the root cause and therefore the process of fixing it. Again, Major Arcana tell you something about the relationship itself, and the Minor Arcana give indication of ‘who’ and ‘what’.

A repeated reversed Lovers card can be a harbinger of regret; you made your decisions and didn’t fully appreciate the balance of the action. The Lovers card is always about choices; what you gain vs what you lose. What is gone is perhaps gone forever, and next time is better informed. Think of the card in this respect as not a bad omen but a ‘you need to heal on this’. The cards around the constant reversed Lovers may give a route for this.

Card Design Process

The card is designed to add a level of ambiguity in that Psyche and Eros could be engaged in one of two situations. Either:

• They have literally just come up from the covers and are looking into each other’s eyes, deeply in love, or
• The scene corresponds to the period after the marriage of Eros and Psyche; they are constantly together and inseparable so Eros is no longer making other people fall in love. Aphrodite has told him to mend this situation. Thus, Eros is raising his bow and muttering about his job. Psyche is glaring at Eros and saying something along the lines of ‘so you already listen to your mother more than me?’.

Which it is depends on what the reader sees. And yes, as we mentioned previously; complex choices!

Secondly, the image was designed to show figures representing the idealized perfection seen in ancient Greek statues, and the depictions of Eros and Psyche were taken from mood boards consisting of such images.

Final Words

This card represents relationships, partnerships, and spiritual connections. It always also signifies choices and their effects.

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